And Now a Word from the Angry Fat Chick

Author's note: This was written in response to an assignment in one of my grad school classes (the name of the school will not be revealed in an effort to protect them from any potential backlash).

Week 5 Discussion:  Obesity is a growing problem in our country. Experts disagree on how to address it.

There are plenty of epidemics in our country: homelessness, the current economic crisis, even the recent shootings in Colorado, just to name a few.  However, our focus today is how to eradicate the obesity epidemic on our country.  We have chosen to embrace gays, lesbians, transgendered and any number of lifestyles in the past decade or so.  Yet it continues to be acceptable to discriminate and blatantly ridicule obese people.  It remains an acceptable form of bigotry and hatred that has yet to receive the same level of tolerance as any other “group” in our society. 

Most people have no idea what it is like to be an obese person.  Tyra Banks, Courtney Cox and Eddie Murphy can all take off their fat suits at the end of the day; I cannot.  My mother enrolled me in Weight Watchers for the first time when I was 12 years old – and they let her.  I was constantly monitored by her, and every morsel that passed my lips was carefully weighed or measured.  She made me get on a scale at home every morning, in addition to weighing in each week at meetings, where I was the only child in the whole room.   It was extremely humiliating to be twelve years old and sitting in a room with a bunch of women who were all counting calories!

My battle with my weight and my self-image has continued throughout my life, and I won’t bore you with the details that you don’t care about except to say that most of the time it is a losing battle.  I wish I could be as confident as Melissa McCarthy or Cameron Manheim, but frankly any slim shred of self-esteem I had was beaten out of me a long time ago.  I have endured being ignored at stores, passed over for promotions and jobs that I was more than qualified for, and even singled out for blatant humiliation by a principal at a school where I worked.  Not to mention the years of torment I endured by the popular people at school during middle school and high school; I have been depressed more times than I care to count.

I only want what every person wants: to be acknowledged and accepted for who I am.  I have yet to feel that way.  I fight every day to accept myself for who I am; I very rarely win.  So when I am considered part of an epidemic – as opposed to an actual person with feelings – I get very angry.  I’m supposed to acknowledge and tolerate everyone else -- when the fuck is it going to be my turn?  When do I get to be accepted instead of mocked and ridiculed?  I guess what this assignment proves is that I shouldn’t hold my breath; I’m going to be waiting a while longer. 

                                                                                                       Selina K. Boyles


Post-script: This "outburst" earned me a zero for "not following directions" and not proposing a solution.  I think my professor missed the point entirely: treat me like a human being.  That seems like the easiest "solution" or course of action for all involved parties.