If you follow
my blogging at all, 2014 has not been a great year. At all. Many times, I found myself relying on people
in ways that I never imagined would be possible. Despite all of the difficulties I have faced,
I still look for ways to bless others and pay it forward, whether that means
passing on toys and clothes that my boys have outgrown, giving a friend a ride
that doesn’t have a car, or watching a friend’s child while they attend a
meeting. I try to find opportunities to
teach my own children what my parents taught me at a young age.
I grew up in
a household where sharing with others was part of our everyday existence. My parents always actively supported their
chosen church and its missions, both locally and internationally. Every holiday we had extra guests at the
table: friends who didn’t have family nearby, elderly neighbors who did not
have any children that lived close, and a whole host of other miscellaneous
guests who did not have any other place to go.
At times, this charitable mentality bothered me; I just wanted to spend
one Thanksgiving or New Year’s Day without hosting a handful or more of people
that weren’t relatives. Looking back on
it now, I can see that it was my parents’ way to share what they had and bless
others.
As an adult,
I have sought out these opportunities in my own way. However, some of my recent efforts in this
vein have left me feeling disillusioned and disheartened with being charitable
to my fellow man. Let me explain…
On several
occasions, I hosted impromptu playdates in order to help out a friend who
needed some time to get tasks accomplished without her daughter. One of these playdates ended up being an
overnight event as this friend ended up in the ER. It upended my plans, but at the time, I tried
to focus on the fact that it was a way that I could help her out and I didn’t
expect anything in return. A few weeks
later, I needed someone to watch my children.
She demanded that I pay her for her services, pack lunches for my
children, and made the whole situation uncomfortable. At the time I didn’t really have any other
options available, but her attitude made me extremely hesitant to assist her
with her child care needs. As a result,
I have declined to help her the last two times she has approached me.
A couple of
weeks ago, I went out of my way to help a friend who needed a ride. I had previously made plans, but I dropped (almost)
everything to be of assistance. Then,
about a week later, the same friend needed help again. So I made myself available. Two days later, I got a pretty desperate text
message. This time, I literally
cancelled my plans (and activities for my kids) and spent practically all day
driving around so that my friend (who cannot drive) could take care of some
important business. All told, over the
course of these three outings, I drove over 800 miles. Again, I wanted to do the right thing. However, after a silly argument about
something unrelated, this friend won’t even respond to my text messages. It makes me wonder…and I don’t like that
feeling. At all.
As I sit on
the brink of this season of giving and being thankful, my heart aches. Should I continue to give of my time and
assist those that need it? I’m not sure
I have a concrete answer. I want to
believe that when I put myself out there that I will not get taken advantage of,
or used for someone else’s selfish purpose.
I know that I can live with the choices I have made when it comes to
stepping up and volunteering to help others.
It is up to the person on the receiving end to check their own heart and
motivations.
I want to
teach my children that we cannot get along in this world alone. We need to rely on each other for support and
assistance. I have certainly learned
quite a bit about that recently, and I will forge ahead with finding those opportunities
as they present themselves.
So in honor
of the seemingly endless journey we all take – with all of the bumps along the
way – here is a tune that is sure to help the miles go by quickly – if only for
three and a half minutes.
Looking for a rest stop,
Selina
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