Saturday, August 10, 2013

If the Shoe Fits

Most women love shoe shopping – so many pretty pairs it’s hard to decide!  I am not one of those women, although not by choice.  I would relish the opportunity to try on multiple pairs of shoes and have to agonize over which one(s) to take home.  While I would like to have feet that fit that glass slipper perfectly, I ended up with feet that are more closely related to Daisy Duck.  They’re sort of round, they have lots of scars from multiple surgeries, and they fit more comfortably into Crocs or bunny slippers than platform heels.

For the record, I am not complaining; my feet get me where I need to go, and I am grateful for that.  But lately I have been feeling like the stepsister trying to squeeze her foot into that glass slipper – and upon closer inspection, finding that it’s really an old, smelly tennis shoe.  Definitely not my first choice and most certainly not appropriate footwear for my sequined gown for dancing with the princes at the ball.
Let’s talk about these so-called princes I have encountered online recently: they certainly aren’t wearing any crowns in my book.

1)      Budget Bishop:  This guy, who owned his own thriving (his word, not mine) online business, had a budget of $40 for a date.  He came right out and told me that while we were at dinner.  I was a little more than shocked and I probably didn’t hide it too well.  Really?  Dinner for two at McDonalds is practically $20.  Let’s just say that I felt really badly for the waiter at the restaurant we went to since our dinner was probably already his whole budget for the evening.  (And no, we did not go anywhere else – that might have required him opening up his wallet again.)

Now please don’t get me wrong; I am not a gold digger and I certainly don’t expect a guy to spend $100 on a date.  What I do have a problem with is someone bragging about the $ale$ they are making in their business in one breath and then stiffing a server who provided excellent service in the next.  But I will say that being a tight-fisted cheapskate isn’t going to get you many second dates either. Next please!   

2)     Embalmed Earl:  This guy could not stop talking about death the whole evening.  To be fair, he worked as a funeral director, and that cannot help but affect the way you view the world to a certain degree.   I tried to make allowances for that fact.  Even though I know other people in the funeral business that have no problem carrying on a conversation that does not involve cremation or the messiness of preparing a body after organ donation (not a suitable dinner topic in my humble estimation). 

Now I will say that our evening was memorable for at least one reason: about halfway through dinner, the lights went out in the entire complex and the restaurant did not have adequate emergency lighting.  So we ate by cell phone light for about 5 minutes before the power came back on.  But throughout the evening, he kept saying that I would leave him like everyone else had and that ended up being a self-fulfilling prophecy as I had no desire to go out on a second date.

3)     Paroled Pharaoh: Yes, I went out with a convicted felon.  Of course I didn’t know this until we were out on our second date.  He explained that he had made some mistakes in his past, and he was not going to go down that road again, come hell or high water.  I respected the fact that he was working to turn his life around.  We went out a few times, but ultimately our ideals didn’t mesh as well as I might have hoped.  I do wish him well as he works his way towards his new goals in life. 

4)     Deceptive/Disappearing Duke: I saved the best (eh-hem) for last.   This guy looked really good on paper and we had a lot of common interests according to the “smart match” on the dating website.  When we went out, I had fun and enjoyed his company.  He listened attentively, played the part of the gentleman, opened doors, and said some very complimentary things to me.

But he wasn’t the most reliable person I’ve gone out with – by a long shot.  I had at least three occasions where I was all dressed up and at a specified location when he texted me to cancel – and not with terribly great excuses either.  He also became verbally degrading when texting me and I found myself apologizing for things that I would never have apologized for under normal circumstances. 

I’m honestly not sure why I put up with his shenanigans and blatant disregard for my time or my feelings.  He ended things with me because I wouldn’t give him a definitive answer about an upcoming date that he had proposed.  This from the person whose typical response was “can I get back to you on that?”  Guess he didn’t like the tables to be turned on him.  Can’t say I’m sorry to see him go.  (I hope this example was specific enough for you Sir Duke)

So as I try on a myriad of ill-fitting footwear in hopes that I will find one that will not pinch my toes or cause my heel to blister, I have learned a few lessons along the way about the kind of prince I don’t want to offer me a sparkly stiletto:

a)     No more tightwads

b)     No excessive talk about death

c)      No more smokers -- no matter what your chosen plant to puff

d)     If you cancel on me after I got dressed or left the house (and paid a babysitter), we are definitely not going out again.  I don’t care what kind of cockamamie excuse you concoct.
My list will probably get longer as I continue to swim in the dating pool.  If and when I find the shoe that fits, I may just find out that a comfortable pair of Crocs or some overgrown bunny slippers will suit me just fine.  Only time will tell…  
  
And in honor of all of us out there still searching for the perfect fit, here is a realist’s view of that proverbial fairy tale. 
Theme Song #32: Hey Cinderella by Suzy Boggus
http://youtu.be/H78hVZ7Jcjo

I’m going barefoot for now,
Selina

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