Ok, so
everyone knows I’m in construction. I’m
locating lines in town and I bent over to get my equipment and a girl yells
outta her car, “woohoo nice butt!” Ummm,
I liked hearing that. Shows my exercise
is working. Sooo, why do women get
offended when a guy does it? Granted
some guys are total asses when they do it, but if I yelled that to any woman
I’d be a pig. I like my ass ladies, look
and yell all you want my helmet adjusts for my bigger head! LOL!
Thank you mystery woman for making me smile at work!!**
First of all, I’d just
like to express relief at the fact that he has an adjustable helmet for his
ego. Now that I don’t have to worry
about him getting a cranial hemorrhage from a tight helmet, I will get to the
question at hand.
Why do women get offended
when men catcall? Not all women do – in
fact some of them get a real thrill out of random guys on the street noticing
them and showing appreciation for their assets.
It validates their attractiveness and it can be a real boost to the
self-esteem/ego if done in the right context.
It also seems harmless enough.
But is it harmless? I think that’s the real question. There are two important components to
consider: the person sending the message, and the person receiving it. What is the intention of the person sending
the message? Is it to compliment or is
it to assert power over the receiver? Most
of the time, the intention is to objectify the woman in question. With that premeditation in mind, it is
completely understandable and justifiable if the woman who is being addressed
in such a crude and crass (notice the “ass” in that?) manner reacts in a way
that suggests that she is upset or offended.
According to Holly
Kearl, founder of the nonprofit group Stop Street Harassment, and author of the
book "Stop Street Harassment: Making Public Places Safe and Welcoming For
Women", catcalling should not be considered acceptable social
behavior. “I think that our culture is
very much focused on telling women and girls, from a young age, that our value
is in how we look, and to have that reinforced on the street by men commenting
on how we look, whether it's positive or negative, I think is really damaging
and is not the kind of message that I think young girls and women should
experience.” [This quote comes from an
interesting NPR piece called Catcalling: Ignore
It or Enjoy It, which can be found at http://www.npr.org/2013/06/12/190993438/catcalling-ignore-it-or-enjoy-it].
Just because a woman is
out in public does not mean it is okay to act like a barbaric Neanderthal who
just stopped dragging his knuckles on the ground. It is not okay to harass a woman who has
already politely told you on the subway that she is not interested in giving
you her number. She should not have to
get off at the next stop just to avoid continuing a conversation with you. As Sara Melas says in Hitch, “This is no
reflection on you. I’m just not
interested…seriously, that was not code for ‘I wish you’d try harder’.” Get a clue and politely walk away.
It is also not open
season on fat chicks. I am fat and have
been for most of my life. Every time I
leave the house, I have to wonder if I am going to experience my own special
brand of catcalling/harassment. The
announcements that an earthquake is coming, the unsolicited advice that Jenny
Craig could help me, or the oh-so-original “fat ass” comments. For the record, I do own a mirror and I know
how big I am. Your rude comments are not
going to magically change my size (or I would have been transformed into a
supermodel a long time ago), but a lobotomy might change your ignorant
attitude.
Much like the woman who
is catcalled, I can identify with the idea of unwanted attention and
harassment. Yet like them, I am
repeatedly told to ignore it. That hasn’t
made it go away so far. I think it is
time to take a different approach altogether.
Upon reading Marilyn Wann’s amazing book Fat? SO! I decided that I was going to start standing up for myself
whenever someone says something degrading to me. It seems like direct verbal
confrontation is the only thing that shuts these fools up for the moment. And that one moment of stunned silence is all
the admission of guilt that I need.
In summation, I’m glad that
my friend realizes that the social implications of catcalling are not without
potential backlash. And shame on that mystery
woman for doing something that she probably would have been upset about if the
shoe was on the other foot. She needs
her own lesson in common courtesy. Apparently we still have some work to do regarding how to behave towards strangers in public.
I could not find a song
that I felt fit this particular subject perfectly, but I did find one that
encourages men to strive for more than the minimum effort when attempting to
impress a lady. Thank you Shania for
raising the bar!
Theme Song #33: That Don’t Impress Me Much by Shania
Twain http://youtu.be/mqFLXayD6e8
Save your whistle for
calling your dog,
Selina**Facebook post used by permission
No comments:
Post a Comment