Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Stuck in a Moment


It’s late, but I wanted to get these thoughts out on electronic paper before they leave my head completely.  A lot has changed in my life over the past year (that’s putting it mildly) and I have had quite a bit of time to reflect on all that has transpired.  One of the biggest changes has been in the status of my relationships, both with family and friends.  The rhyme and reason behind each is different in its own way, but there are commonalities that can be drawn upon as well.

At this very moment, I am stuck in a quandary.  How much do you let the past shape who you are today and into the future?  How much do you let your accumulated life experiences up to this point dictate what you will consider as possibilities in the future?  And what do you do when what you feel doesn’t coincide with the circumstances at hand? 
I found myself with a tune stuck in my head that reflects this thought balloon.  In the opera/musical Aida, Radames and Aida must decide if their love is more important than carrying out their respective duties as royalty.  Aida attempts to convince Radames that duty should be upheld and she tries to tell him goodbye.  Radames is not convinced by Aida’s plea, and their love story ends tragically because of their foolishness.

Theme Song #23: Written in the Stars from the musical Aida
http://youtu.be/giQtOu0mlZc


I no longer believe that there is one “perfect” person that God or Fate has for each of us or that there is a permanent happily ever after at the end of the rainbow (I know I’m mixing metaphors here).  I do believe that there are people that can and will make you happy and being with them brings out the best in you, and them in turn.  Those are the people you want to hold close and keep dear in your heart.  I also know that there are others who affect parts of your life but like Mary Poppins, only stay until the wind changes. 
I know I have mentioned this before, but I have moved quite a few times in my life.  At times I find it difficult to distinguish if I am the Mary Poppins figure for others, or if the roles are reversed.  It makes it challenging to decide whom to let go without a fight, and who to hold onto for dear life itself.  Sometimes with the passage of time and physical distance the answer reveals itself.  But this is not always the best method for determination. 

Our wonderful world of technology has introduced us to texting, Skype and Face Time.  You are practically a Neanderthal if you do not employ at least one or more of these methods of communication.  I am getting used to Skype, and if you don’t mind seeing me in my ratty pajamas and no eye makeup (yikes!) then I am happy to talk to you that way.  I am also frequently seen using my opposable thumbs to type out a message to someone on my phone.  (“Mommy, who are you texting now?”)  I don’t mind texting, but it does have its own limitations and is very one-dimensional.  It is fine for finding a babysitter, arranging a play date, or checking in on someone, but is in no way, shape or form an adequate substitute for an actual meaningful conversation. 
So where am I going with all of this rambling?  Once again, I find myself wondering about the current status of a broken friendship and if I should say goodbye permanently to someone or not.  I have said before that I am no longer going to be the person that attempts to fix things, and I am sticking to my guns on that count.  But is it possible to leave the door open a crack without feeling stuck?  Without feeling like I am compromising my own resolve?  Therein lies the algebra problem: too many variables and not enough information to solve the equation.  I don’t want to look back later and wonder about the “what ifs.”    

The bottom line is that I need to stop spinning my wheels about this.  I have made way more important decisions than this without a moment’s hesitation.  But when it comes to matters of the heart, and my desire to be loyal to my friends, my past does affect the way I feel about leaving and being left behind.  And then I accidentally stumbled upon the solution on Facebook, which is typical of me.  I was reading a list of the “25 Things to Do Before You Turn 25” list.  (Here is the link to the full list: http://thoughtcatalog.com/2012/25-things-to-do-before-you-turn-25/)  Number 17 spoke to me directly:
Make a habit of cleaning up and letting go. Just because it fit at one point doesn’t mean you need to keep it forever — whether ‘it’ is your favorite pair of pants or your ex.

Now that was the kick in the pants (pun intended) that I needed.  Also proof that I tend to overthink things on a regular basis.  So much time has gone by that in the grand scheme of things it wouldn’t make sense to try and pick up the pieces at this point.  Cleaning out my emotional closet will be good for me. 

Today, right now, I am opening my umbrella and selecting my path as the wind changes direction.  I am making peace with my choice and hope that the doubts don’t creep in too often.  I can’t go back later even if I have regrets.  I might as well keep moving forward. 

So here’s a little song that speaks volumes about the proverbial road not taken:
Theme Song #24: What Might Have Been by Little Texas
http://youtu.be/uEE3ycDH9_8

Sometimes it’s better not to know,
Selina

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