I Don't Need a Reason

About a year ago, I started blogging.  At first I used it as an outlet to chronicle my feelings as I worked through some personal struggles.  I shared my entries with a few friends on occasion.  And then I had someone trip my trigger about one of my hot button topics – the societal implications of being overweight.  I responded with what would become my first official public blog entry.  I posted it on my blog and on my Facebook page.  Afterward, I reaped the benefits – and consequences – of using social media as a voice for my position on the subject at hand.

From that moment, I have publically dialogued about various topics and my feelings on them.  Recently, I had an acquaintance insinuate that my blog is pointless because (1) everyone lives their lives at the speed of their thumbs and the latest meaningless text and (2) I actually expected people to have morals and standards and (3) that was not likely to happen if I had a grip on reality.  (Please, don’t hold back; tell me how you really feel!)  I took exception to their assessment, but it also forced me to examine just why I insisted upon baring my soul if no one was actually paying attention.

And like so many other times, the answer was out there in cyberspace just waiting for me to discover it.  I happened upon a quote that speaks volumes about my intentions and provides a rationale for my random ramblings and incensed diatribes:

I know that people are reading my blogs, even if they are not commenting directly.  I am not bragging on myself, but it does take a certain amount of self-confidence or at least ballsy nerve to put my innermost thoughts down on “paper” and then share them with others.  It reminds me of a part of a song that I love that says:

2 AM and I'm still awake, writing a song
If I get it all down on paper, it's no longer inside of me,
Threatening the life it belongs to
And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd
Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud
And I know that you'll use them, however you want to

                                    --2AM by Anna Nalick

That’s why not everyone writes.  It’s extremely personal and exposes you in a way that even strippers and prostitutes don’t share (or bare).  What if people actually knew what you were thinking and could read the thought balloons above your head like a comic strip – God forbid?!?!  If you ask any writer who has had conversations with their readers, people take whatever meaning from their words that they want to.  I distinctly remember reading an interview with Sting where he comments on the song “Every Breath You Take” and how his intended meaning and what people infer from it are vastly different indeed.  Even though we all hear the same words and distinct haunting melody, the meaning changes depending on our individual experiences.

When I am writing, my aim is to share what I am thinking and feeling, and hope that it might be able to help someone else who might be experiencing the same thing.  Secondarily, if it causes someone to pause and think about their actions, inactions or interactions with others, then so be it.  But my goal is not to get up on my proverbial soapbox and expect people to follow me like the Pied Piper; I will leave that to the televangelists and politicians. 

In conclusion, I will respond to my friend by saying the following: I am going to follow my own path and express myself in the ways that I feel are necessary for my existence and mental sanity.  People should have ethics and moral standards in regards to the ways in which we interact with one another.  Common courtesy and basic human decency are not crimes; they are hallmarks of a civilized society. 

You do not have to agree with me; you are free to make your own decisions.  So am I.  I shared things with you because at the time it mattered to me what you thought.  However, based on your recent choices, you voluntarily gave up your ability to influence me and whisper in my ear.  I challenge you to put your fingers to the keyboard and take your best shot at doing the same.  I am curious as to what you would say if you let down your guard for even a moment and gave others the opportunity to see you for who you really are.  I won’t hold my breath…     

So while I wait for hell to freeze over, here is a little glimpse into the thoughts of a songwriter taking her own stand:

Theme Song #25: Love Song by Sara Bareilles

http://youtu.be/qi7Yh16dA0w

My head is not underwater anymore,

Selina