There
are three life lessons that I learned from Pretty Woman, and I am going to
share those with you today, because I feel like they apply to most of us.
#1: Dare
to Be YourselfAt the beginning of Pretty Woman, Vivian is wearing a blonde wig and a very skimpy dress. She fidgets because she is uncomfortable. But over the course of the movie – and a couple of spending sprees – she finds a style that works for her. When she walks down the hall to the opera in that amazing red dress and sparkly jewels, it is evident that she has a lot more confidence than the girl who spit her gum out into the street just a few days ago.
Just
to be clear, I am not endorsing any “really offensive” shopping trips. What I am advocating is wearing outfits or
pieces of clothing that make you feel good about yourself. My friend Jes Baker, fat activist and all
around bad ass (a.k.a. The Militant Baker), sums it up like this on her
Facebook page:
When we allow ourselves to wear something that makes us vulnerable, it makes us powerful. When we wear something that makes us powerful, we start to feel sexy. When we start to feel sexy, we begin developing confidence. And when we begin developing confidence, we start allowing ourselves to take up space…and THAT my friends is incredible. In fact, it’s pretty damn revolutionary. So start your own personal revolution, whydon’tcha?
I’m totally on board with this idea. Last summer, I started wearing shorts and tank tops, and you will not catch me wearing a cardigan over a sleeveless dress when it’s over 70 degrees out ever again. In fact, you just may see me wearing a bikini at the local pool for the first time in about 35 years if I find one I like. Cause frankly swim dresses stink!
#2: Never Settle
Part
way through the movie, Edward offers to provide Vivian with an apartment and
financial support. She turns him
down. She says she wants more. “I know about wanting more. I invented the concept. The question is, how much more?” -- Edward
"I want the fairytale." -- Vivian
I
have to admit, his offer would have been pretty tempting. A rent free condo, driver, carte blanch
credit card access, and unlimited dental floss sound like a pretty sweet deal
to me. But Vivian had the courage to
stand up for herself. She didn’t settle
for the offer in front of her because it wasn’t what she really wanted. When she walked out of the hotel and went
back to her apartment, she didn’t know what the future would bring. The power lay in the fact that she had made
this decision on her own.
We
have that power too. I know as women we
have been trained to put others before ourselves, but it should not be at the
expense of achieving our own goals and dreams. I have fallen into that trap many times
because I felt that deep down I wasn’t going to get a better offer. So I took the one in front of me because I
was afraid that I would not get another opportunity.
But
I don’t feel that way anymore. I have
two little sweethearts and I want them to grow up to be strong, independent and
honorable men. I would be doing them a
great disservice if I catered to them exclusively and never took time for my
own goals and dreams. I want them to
know that it is important to take charge of their own destiny, and I will lead
by my own example.
#3: Give Back When You Can
At
the end of Pretty Woman, Vivian shares some of her paycheck with her friend and
roommate Kit. She tells her, “It’s from
the Edward Lewis Scholarship Fund. We
think you got a lotta potential.” Vivian
looked to Kit as her mentor, and felt that this was a way to honor Kit’s
contribution to her success. At various
points in our lives, we have had people invest in us. Whether that is a teacher, coach, or some
other type of mentor, no one can achieve any significant level of success
without assistance. We hear extremely
successful people like Taylor Swift and Julia Roberts thank those people when
they get up and accept their Grammy and Oscar awards.
Over
the past several months, I have had the privilege of others investing in me so
that I might succeed. It has been
humbling to be on the receiving end of such generosity of spirit, but I know that
one day I will be able impart my own knowledge and share my experiences with someone
else. I look forward to being able to
pay it forward in the near future.
We
each have our own reasons for shaking things up and changing the status
quo. All except one: Like Vivian, we
want something better for ourselves. We
want the fairytale. When we dare to be
ourselves, refuse to settle, or pay it forward, we are coming one step closer
to achieving that dream. Whatever yours
may be, it is well within your grasp. So
go get it now!!
And
while this might seem a bit cliché, I am going to leave you with the most
appropriate song for this theme:
“Pretty Woman” by Roy Orbison
(Caution: there are sexually suggestive
images in this video)
Strutting
my stuff,
Selina
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