Relationships are hard. Whether that's friendship or romance or family, there are going to be ups and downs along the way. Many times we endure the downs because we know there is bound to be an upswing just around the corner, and because we have invested something into the relationship, we take that chance. Sometimes over and over again to the point of sheer exhaustion and without any actual hope of getting a different end result. It's quite difficult to break that trend once it begins.
I am not a big Dr. Phil fan, but I read something he wrote today that spoke to me and got me thinking. I believe it's from the December issue of Oprah's magazine (in order to give my source proper credit):
Falling in love is one thing; maintaining a healthy long-term relationship is quite another. I understand why you might feel guilty about breaking up with your boyfriend because he has issues, but you have to value yourself enough to set a high "price of admission" into your life. Any man who truly loves a woman will want to rise to the level of being able to take care of her. If he's not capable of doing this, you're better off accepting it now.
My friend Natalie also put things pretty succinctly by saying, "begin with the end in mind." In other words, it's usually a case of WYSIWYG [What You See Is What You Get]. And trust me, the older you get, the more accurate this statement becomes. There is no way on God's green earth that you could get me to settle for my high school boyfriend at this stage of the game. The only catch is that while you figure out what you're not willing to accept, the list of possibilities grows shorter. But that's a good thing -- it means that hopefully you will end up with exactly who you're looking for in the end. And vice versa.
So if this speaks to you as it has to me, I encourage you to shake things up and stand up for yourself. Don't accept things the way they are. You can only change yourself -- you cannot change the other person. You have to believe in yourself before anyone else will. Find someone who is willing to put their best effort forth to have and hold your affections. If you start out the relationship making excuses, you will continue to do so. Set the bar high and don't settle!!! You're worth it!!!
These are things that I need to continue to remind myself as I embark on a new chapter in my life. So here's a little inspiration from one magnificent woman with a powerful voice to keep me on track. Take it away Whitney!
Theme Song #15: Queen of the Night -- Whitney Houston
http://youtu.be/rFcnGLFGbL8
You may need a trampoline to reach the bar,
Selina
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