The Soundtrack of My Life

If you love music at all, and I don't think that I could live without it, there are songs that are stamped on your heart.  They take you to a specific place and time every time you listen to them:

• your Prom theme song
• the first song you danced to at your wedding
• the lullaby you hummed to the new little baby in your arms
• the love song that marked the beginning of a new relationship
• the lyrics that marked the end of that relationship and the beginning of a heartbreak.

I could go on, but I think you get the idea.  Along with those moments that mark the soundtrack of my life, there are songs that reflect specific people that have come and gone in my life.  I have a bunch of songs that bring a smile to my face as I think about the friend that loved this song or that rock group passionately.  Then there have been times when I could not listen to a song because it hurt too much to think about that person, or that moment that went so horribly wrong.  A friend of mine on Facebook recently put this problem into perspective for me:

When you can finally listen to that one song that always reminded you of them & feel nothing, no sadness, no regret, no anger, then I feel that you have moved on.

For the longest time, there was one particular song that sent me back to a time and place that I did not want to go.  It tugged at my heart every time I heard it, and I could not shake the feeling that I had lost a piece of myself somewhere along the way.  And then shortly after seeing this quote, I heard that song -- the one that had caused me so much angst for so long, and it was an epiphany; I realized that I had moved on.  I did not feel a thing, and I don't really know how or when it happened.  It felt amazing and there really aren't adequate words to describe how liberated I felt.  Call it closure if you will, but I don't think it's that simple.  Some things never get the wrapping and ribbon that is needed before you stack them in the closet of your memories.

I've already got a pretty good boxed set going on in my head for the soundtrack of my life, but there is always room for more musical memories.  Here's one of my favorite songs about this very subject -- from one of my favorite cowboys.  Take it away Kenny!

Theme Song #7: I Go Back by Kenny Chesney

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/MdeSLxz5TTE" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

The song remembers when,
Selina

Social Injustice

In attempting to be positive, sometimes it is also necessary to take a stand.  That is what I am doing today, and I hope you will join me. 

I read a post on my sister's news feed today that made me sick to my stomach.  Apparently, as a cruel joke, some students at a high school in St. Louis, Missouri decided to nominate a mentally challenged young lady to the Homecoming court.  If she received a nomination, they planned to throw eggs at her and quack at her during the parade.  Despite some parents and faculty members knowing about this, nothing was done to stop the perpetrators in their quest, and they managed to succeed in getting enough votes for said young lady to get nominated.  Fortunately, her parents were smart enough to realize that this was not a normal or expected turn of events.  They have expressed their grievances to the principal and school board.  A meeting to determine actions towards the perpetrators is set to take place.

Now excuse me for a minute while I get up on my soapbox: WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE?  I find it difficult to believe that they have not gotten wind of the anti-bullying initiatives that have been sweeping the country over the last several years.  I also mistakenly thought that our society had finally evolved to the point where it was understood that bullying is counterproductive to the educational process and also in direct violation of basic human rights to an equal educational opportunity.  At the very least, this young lady deserves the right to get an education without dreading going to school every day.  Her principal, teachers and fellow students have all received failing grades in Social Justice and Common Decency. 

An email and phone number were posted to the school in question, so I put my fingers to work and drafted a letter to the principal:

I am appalled and outraged at the events that have occurred at your high school recently. I was under the impression that bullying was FINALLY being eradicated from schools across our nation. Perhaps you haven't heard of this initiative, but it has been going on for a while now. Basically, what this means is that schools are standing up to bullies and telling them that their abuse will not be tolerated any longer. Every student deserves to have a fair and equal education without feeling belittled, inferior, or otherwise fearful or uncomfortable about going to school.

Homecoming is a privilege, not a given right. As I'm sure you are aware, Penn State was recently punished for their lack of humanity towards fellow human beings, and your students deserve to have something important taken away from them. These individuals, whether there were two, twenty or two hundred involved, have taken away one of their classmate's dignity, and that should not be rewarded with a parade, crowns, and a dance. You are responsible for the welfare and well being of each and EVERY ONE of your students; shame on you for allowing this kind of behavior to occur on your watch. I hope that you will stand up to these ignorant individuals and restore order to your school.

 
I hope that this young lady knows that there are plenty of folks out there that are shocked and outraged by this turn of events.  And angry enough to STAND UP to the social injustice that is taking place right before their very eyes.  If you would like to add your voice, here is the information I have copied from the father's Facebook post:

If you think that homecoming should be canceled at this school this year please send an email to the principal at tsauvage@mvr3.k12.mo.us or call: (636) 271-1414


Here is the link to the local news story that has been picked up as a result:
http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.kmov.com%2Fnews%2Feditors-pick%2FParents-Students-threatened-mentally-challenged-daughter-after-being-elected-Pacific-HS-homecoming-queen-171035161.html&h=TAQFbjsWv


Finally, here's an appropriate song dedicated to this strong and courageous young woman and her family:

Beautiful by Christina Aguilera
http://youtu.be/eAfyFTzZDMM


Stand up and fight the good fight,
Selina

Be Yourself

"Be yourself.  Everyone else is already taken."

I keep this quote from Oscar Wilde at my desk.  I think it speaks volumes in just seven little words.  Because it's something that terrifies most people -- what would they think if they really knew what I was like?  Oh quelle horror!!!

I have not necessarily been one to shy away from being myself or speaking my mind, although I feel that there are certain things that I have been quiet about for far too long.  This is one of many reasons, I suppose, that I did not find myself in the upper echelons of the popularity pyramid in high school.  I didn't play the game; I didn't stand idly by and let a friend of mine get picked on in order to save face.  I had a strong sense of what was right and wrong and acted accordingly.

I recently came across a quote from Johnny Depp that I also find pretty appropriate to this mantra. 

"If there's any message to my work, it's ultimately that it's OK to be different, that it's good to be different, that we should question ourselves before we pass judgement on someone who looks different, behaves different, talks different, or is a different color."

Now here is a guy who is not afraid to take risks with his career.  He does what he wants to do and the projects that he likes (although I do think he and Tim Burton may be secret lovers--kidding!).  If the public likes it, then that's great, but he doesn't seem to be bothered by what the critics say.

So why is it such a scary thing to be your own person and be true to who you are?  Time and time again, when popular celebrities are interviewed, they talk about being unpopular in school and awkward in their own skins.  Why isn't this sinking in with young people?  I am encouraged by the efforts of Ryan Murphy and the show GLEE.  He has purposely created characters that are flawed, but stand tall and declare out loud that they are not afraid of a slushy in the face.

So what this boils down to is something else that is hopefully food for thought and most definitely worth repeating:

Who you are in high school, and whether you are popular or not, does not dictate who you will be.


Here's a little song from a few of my GLEE friends to help you along:

Theme Song #6:  It's Time by Imagine Dragons (as interpreted by Blaine and the cast of GLEE)
http://youtu.be/ArW6SvANU-0

Flabulously yours,
Selina

Make a Statement

Inspiration for body positivity is everywhere!  You just have to start looking in the right places -- and I am NOT talking about Vogue or Shape magazine here.  I saw this today and had to share it on Facebook and here, too.

Now this is a pretty brave statement for any teenage guy to make -- especially when you consider how much peer pressure is exerted on this age group to conform to their friends and what is considered popular at the time.  So it's definitely a step in the right direction to see this kind of affirmation -- kudos to you!

So while I'm sharing visual inspiration, here's another one that I LOVE -- and helped get me started on my journey towards personal acceptance and body positivity.  It also drew some unfriendly fire from one narrow-minded person who could not understand why I thought this was appropriate to post.  Really?  Cause it's so much better for her teenage daughter to only have skinny role models to emulate.  You're right -- I am absolutely ridiculous to stand up to our media stereotypes (can you hear the sarcasm here?)!!!

 

 

So in conclusion, be brave, be bold, and MAKE A STATEMENT!  Don't be afraid to go against the flow and challenge the status quo -- that's how CHANGE HAPPENS!!!  I know I've been changed for the better because of the boldness of these individuals -- find your inspiration and go out and be the change you want to see.

 

Here's a little song for inspiration:

 

Theme Song #5: We Can by Leann Rimes  

 

http://youtu.be/mpbFoLJp-jc

 

 

Flabulously yours,

Selina

"A" is for Accomplishments

Positivity takes work, and sometimes it is much more effort than I think should be necessary.  Each day, when I throw off the covers and face another day, I have every intention of having a "good Day."  I follow my morning ritual and get ready to head out the door.  Once I open that front door, much more is out of my control than in my grasp.

 

I came across this quote the other day and thought it was appropriate and uplifting:

"Year by year I learn more about myself, and I think that confidence and honesty and just really being true to yourself is probably the most beautiful thing that you can do for yourself and the people around you."  --Dianna Agron (Quinn Fabray on GLEE)

 

I want to be true to myself and exude confidence in everything I do.  I do not want to let the world beat me down or have a say in the way I feel about myself and my body. According to my recent biometric screenings, I have a very healthy body.  In addition, I have actually accomplished quite a bit in the time that I have been on this planet!  So here are just a few of them in no particular order to help me remember that I am so much more than the ignorant snap judgment you may make about me based solely on my outward physical appearance.

1)   I am the mother of two extraordinary little boys who are healthy and happy.

2)   I have gone white water rafting several times and mastered Class III and IV rapids.

3)   I love to water ski – particularly in the early morning when the water is still like glass.

4)   I am a pretty good shot with a bow and arrow – Katnis has nothing on me!

5)   I’m also pretty handy with a bat and a softball glove.

6)   I have a bachelor’s degree in B.S. (English) and am working on adding a master’s degree to my credentials.

7)   I make a really delicious cucumber ranch potato salad!!!

8)   I also bake awesome bunny cakes – yummy!!!

9)   I am no slouch at singing the soprano part of the Hallelujah chorus or anything else that needs a high G or A.

10) I just got a new digital camera and over the years I have taken some pretty awesome shots of my friends, family and places I have visited.

11) My driving skills extend to manuals as well as automatics, and that has come in handy on more than one occasion.

12) If you need someone to tie a cherry stem into a knot with their tongue in less than 10 seconds, then I am your gal! (I know that is totally useless in most situations, but not everyone can say that!)

I’m sure that I could add at least a few more items to this list without much difficulty, but hopefully you get the idea: each of us has so much to offer!  If you still need some inspiration, here is a link to one of Meghan Tonjes’s video blogs.  She exudes confidence in herself and her abilities and is not going to apologize for that.  Check it out!

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=h-BxWV77MGc